The Equation of why Seal Beach is really Mayberry-by-the-Seal & how next Thursday's Seal Beach Sun's Crime Log will be particularly good & juicy:

3 or 4 raccoons bigger than your average cocker spaniel treed in a eucalyptus in the alley making unholy screams while either fighting or mating or both

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2 drunk young men walking down the Electric Ave and the 16th St alleys tipping over trashcans all the while trying to get home to one of their grandfather's houses but turning into the neighbor's house instead

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7-8 cop cars full of SBPD trying to determine if drunk teenagers or if crazy raccoons are the problem (who knew that Seal Beach even had 7-8 cop cars!)

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1 really big firetruck

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1 paramedics van

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a bunch of neighbors and their dogs all out in nightgowns/attire watching the whole spectacle

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A rockin' Saturday Night in Mayberry by the Sea.

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The young man actually related to the homeowner on 16th ended up in the cop car and his drunk buddy was left to languish on the Greenbelt. The Raccoons have stopped screaming. Maybe they were agitated by the cop car bright beams being shone into Their Tree.

Who knows why the firetruck and paramedic van even showed up. We will rely on Charles M. Kelley to give us the straight scoop from the Police Log in Thursday's Sun.