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July 26, 2007

what i learned on my summer vacation

oh heavens, it's already almost the end of the month and HadashiWorld has been languishing. partly this is due to drowning in insane work hours, and of course there's always my much-lamented lack of regular-blog-posting skills.
i've just returned from Columbia, Missouri (a college town smack dab in the middle of the state) where i was instructing the craft – no wait, that’s the Mystic Art -- of audio mixing at a summer film institute to a group of what is commonly known as "young people," most of them girls. these kids show up for two weeks of hands-on learning what goes into the process of filmmaking in a learn-as-you-go sort of thing. each department is headed by a professional who is asked to donate their time & expertise. i got sucked in through a longtime friend and colleague of mine who was instrumental in smoothing my entry into The Industry, and was actually pretty excited to have a chance to "give back," as i saw it. so i took a week off of my current show and headed off. however, i was fairly unprepared for what i'd actually encounter.
it turned out that every day, i would get three new, eager students to train. i'd have about a half-hour to crash-course them through the basics of location mixing and boom operation. unlike other departments, i actually had to depend on my newbies, as it's physically impossible to boom and mix at the same time. i vaguely worried that i was being set up for disaster. instead, i was completely blown away.
the kids were like sponges, soaking up everything i taught and demonstrated, whether it be actual technique, practical theory, or my own experiences. by the fourth day of the program, i had a team of kids i could rely on to set up the equipment, get everyone in place, and run the department if needed. and they all did so with passion, enthusiasm, and smiles.
i guess i shouldn't have been so surprised; after all, these were mostly eighteen and nineteen-year-olds, and that age usually has a boundless excitement for new skills. plus, a lot of them were on a “girl power” high, and weren’t concerned with impressing anyone or proving anything. but it did make me realise just how jaded i could be, and now that i'm back at my regular day job, the contrast is even more pronounced.
i don't expect people to be cooperative off the bat. i don't expect people to make decisions that take other people's feelings into account. i don't expect people to be complaint-free. i don't even expect people to treat me as a professional right away; i'm a girl in a male-dominated profession and i look young. i've always thought i have a relatively good outlook on all of this -- i walk on to a set prepared to "kill them with kindness," operating on the get-respect-if-you-give-respect principle. i deeply believe in the idea of a team being more successful than a lone wolf, and try to contribute to that. however, working with these teens for 7 days made me feel very frighteningly close to being a grown-up -- and by that, i mean a person who's lost the capacity for wonder and for fun.
i'm back on a set now with insane hours and some seriously incompetent producers, but i've learned an important lesson from my week away: Don't Take The Bait. originally, this was said to me by my immediate supervisor on this show after i was accused of making the whole production fall behind because i was late to work. seeing that a) it was a ridiculous thing to say, and b) i had arrived (on time) before the accuser and had been seen by dozens who would say so, there was no reason for me to get wound up about it or even respond. but now i see how this applies all the time.
how many times do we Take The Bait? maybe our alarm clock doesn't go off and we’re late. a driver cuts us off in traffic. our coffee is too hot or too cold. it's a bad hair day. the kids are rowdy. the spouse didn't do something you asked him or her to do several times. you forgot to charge your cell phone and now it's dead. the movie you wanted to see is sold out. you're out of laundry detergent AND clean underwear. whatever it is, there's some trigger that’s relatively small, but if we take the bait, our entire day can be ruined. we plunge into a mood of self-pity or anger or entitlement or irritation and never bounce back. we go to bed feeling like the day was a waste, or worse, like failures at the fine art of life. and those are hours we will never get back.
those kids showed me, very tangibly, that part of me i’ve always loved the most: the girl who saw difficulties as adventures, who wanted to tackle any new challenge, who would laugh – and make others laugh – no matter how dismal the situation. i know she’s still very much part of me, but i have to be careful to not let grown-up bait-taking shellac her with layers of hard cynical toughness. it definitely helps that i have a fabulous husband who’s never gotten the memo about being a grown-up, and a family and friends who also aren’t good at being boring adults.
well, my lunch hour is over and the walkie is going off in my ear that i need to get back to work, and i’m sure there will be plenty more bait tossed at me over the course of the day. so I need to go back to catering and stock up on some fresh mango, pick up another bottle of water, and head back into the fray.
hopefully, i'll survive this with my dignity and sense of humour intact.

Posted by hadashi at July 26, 2007 2:34 PM

Comments

Posted by: poopymonkeyfish at August 15, 2007 3:20 PM

Posted by: hadashi at August 18, 2007 4:27 PM

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